Download Eminem Criminal for free from pleer.com"Criminal"
[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fucking questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cause I'm a
CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL
[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging (Ooh!)
That's my motherfucking balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checking the mail
Get it? Checking the 'male'?
How many records you expecting to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from topping these charts
And you can't stop me from dropping each March
with a brand new CD for these fucking retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
I'm a CRIMINAL
Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep going, I don't take shit from no one
[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - hard-liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in
Replacing the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL
[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waiting on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fucking money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit looking around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you
Hurry the fuck up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!
[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [*dog whines*]
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask
[Chorus 2X]
Download Eminem Who Knew for free from pleer.com"Who Knew"
I never knew I..
I never knew I..
Mic check one-two
I never knew I..
Who woulda knew?
I never knew I..
Who'da known?
I never knew I..
Fuck would've thought
I never knew I..
Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I..
and sells a couple of million records
I never knew I..
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I never knew I..
[Eminem]
I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this {*tires screech*}
I put wives at risk with a knife like this (AHHH!!)
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin to straight jump out
put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?
Look - I'll burn your fuckin house down, circle around
and hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burning furniture out
(Oh my God! Oh my God!) I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
[*ewwww*] Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin to censor music, this is for your kid's amusement
(The kids!) But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents
[Chorus: Eminem]
Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
[Eminem]
So who's bringin the guns in this country? (Hmm?)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen a Schwarzaneggar movie
where he's shootin all sorts of these motherfuckers with a uzi
I sees three little kids, up in the front row,
screamin "Go," with their 17-year-old Uncle
I'm like, "Guidance - ain't they got the same moms and dads
who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your 12-year-old daughter to wear?
(Hmm?) So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
when his bus driver's screamin at him, fuckin him up worse
("Go sit the fuck down, you little fuckin prick!")
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
up in the third grade, flippin the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
So read up, about how I used to get beat up
peed on, be on free lunch, and change school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fuckin ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
if 19 million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
I never knew I.. knew I'd..
have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin some trees (HEY!)
How many retards'll listen to me
and run up in the school shootin when they're pissed at a
teach-er, her, him, is it you is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
if you woulda been, in my shoes, who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin that you woulda bought
that woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it - I ain't know if you'd do it or not
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
How the fuck was I supposed to know?
Download Eminem Big Weenie for free from pleer.com"Big Weenie"
I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're mean mean man
[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
[Eminem]
Alright listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind-your eyes close them
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes
We are going to explore into your mind
To find out why you're so fuckin' jealous
Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?
Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
Psych, I'm kidding
I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'
Ok, now I need your undivided attention
Sir I have a question
Why do I always sense this undeniable tension
From the moment that I enter into the room
It gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dying to ask, it's been itchin' at me
Is it just because
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me
Is that I fucked up ain't it?
But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes
Or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, ok?
You're droolin, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting
What the fuck you eat for lunch
A bunch of sweets or something, what?
You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
Your tooth is rotten to the gum
Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
Yes I do sir, what am I on?
You sir are on truth syrum
Marshall I'm so jealous of you
Please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
It's my own insecurity!
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
Alright now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
Cuz that's exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
Wait, let me put these sun glasses on
Now look in this mirror, how about now?
What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is tortuous
My point is this
That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is...
[Chorus]